Qualms and Connections
by Hopeakaarme
Summary: Remus is an orphan. James's parents want another son. Easy? Not at all, since James doesn't want a new brother and Remus doesn't want to part from his friend Severus, even if being with Severus means being thought dead by the rest of world.
1. The Letter

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.

A/N: I read two really funny fanfics, **Brother Werewolf** and **Helping Remus** (I do not remember the authors' names, it's been awhile, and I apologize) that both had the same base: Remus is an orphan, and James's parents adopt him. However, even though they were fun and all, I thought that it went too easily in them. James would not be that ready to give up his status as an only child, and besides, I'm not that much into easy things... So I decided to write my own fic on it.  
In the beginning of this, the boys are in the end of their second year at Hogwarts.

* * *

Qualms and Connections

Chapter 1:

The Letter

* * *

"I don't believe this!" bellowed James, fuming. "They cannot be fucking serious!" 

"What's the matter?" asked Sirius, eyeing his best friend curiously. James had just received an owl from home, but as the owls he got from his family were usually pleasant, Sirius didn't understand why the other boy was angry. Well, _anything_ would have been pleasant compared to the notes _he_ got from home. He was almost becoming immune to it, though -- having been called a disgrace and the shame of his mother's flesh for about a hundred times, the insults were kind of growing old.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" asked Remus, popping his head out of his bed, where he'd been reading his Transfiguration text book. Not only was it unheard of James to be angry with his parents, but also the bespectacled boy almost never swore. Only Remus himself in their small group of friends used less bad language than James.

"My bloody parents have seemingly decided that I'm not enough," snapped James. "And they are going to _adopt _some fucking brat! Tell me that I'm going to have a _brother_! Well, if they think I'm going to just sit back and watch them fawn over some strange kid, they're sorely mistaken!"

"Don't take it so seriously, mate," said Peter, frowning slightly. "From what I know, adoptions usually take a rather long process. You'll have plenty of time to get used to the thought."

Remus had to bite his tongue so he wouldn't correct Peter. The case was that with Muggle adoptions, yes. But in Wizarding adoptions, the adoptive parents usually just walked to the orphanage, picked a fitting child, and casted the Adoption Charm. Irreversible, and worked well. However, he could not tell that to his friends, since they would have wondered how he knew that. And he could never tell them. They would hate him if they knew -- they would just abandon him, like his parents had so long, long time ago.

However, James told that to Peter for him. "It's not so with wizards," he said bitterly. "They're going to go and pick a suitable _brother_ for me a week after I've come home for the summer holiday!"

"Take it easy, mate," Sirius said. "I personally would be happy if my parents were civil enough to want to take yet another brat to take care of. Hell, I'd be happy if they were civil enough to take care of those they already have!" The others shot him pitying glances. Everyone knew about Sirius's hard home life.

Nobody knew about Remus's. Well, home and home, he wouldn't go as far as to call his current orphanage his home. Or any of them, for that matter. All his life ever since he'd been three, he'd been tossed from one orphanage to another. Not once had he met somebody who would have really cared about him or whatever happened to him.

"Take it easy," echoed James. "Take it easy, you say! How am I supposed to take it easy? They're fucking just picking some kid from this bloody orphanage and I am just supposed to watch from the side and accept it! Well, I'm telling you, I sure as hell am not going to make it easy at them!"

"James, think about that kid," said Remus quietly. "Those kids have been abandoned, or their parents are dead. Each and every one of them deserves a real family. Be mad at your parents, if you want, but don't be nasty at the kid. If you do, you'll be just as bad as any Slytherin."

"Moony's right," Sirius agreed. "Your future brother has done nothing to deserve your anger. Try to treat him nicely, even if you are going to be mad at your parents."

"Fine," grumbled James. "I'll steer clear of the kid if he doesn't bother me. But I will _not_ try to get all big-brotherly at him, don't even think that! I'd rather eat alive snakes or -- or -- or kiss _Snape_!"

Even though he laughed along with the others, Remus felt a painful stab in his heart. He shouldn't be laughing. He should tell them that Severus wasn't that bad, that the kid deserved a brother too, and that they shouldn't make fun of someone they didn't know. But he didn't, because he was afraid of losing his friends, afraid of losing yet more people who were important to him.

Remus couldn't help but feel envious as well. Whoever it was the Potters were going to adopt, that person was really lucky. He couldn't imagine better parents than James had -- then again, his experience of any parents was extremely limited, at least on the time he could remember properly. All he knew about fathers and mothers was what his friends had told him about theirs, and he thought that James had the best parents in the world. For a moment he hoped that they would adopt _him_, that he would be lucky enough to get that happiness.

But that would not happen, not ever. Remus was a werewolf, after all, bookish and quiet and too old. People who were willing to adopt children wanted young, lively, _human_ children. Not anything like him.

He'd seen it more than once. Every time when he'd been younger and somebody had come to look at the children, most had just given him a passing glance -- the quiet, shy boy in the corner, a dark-looking friend always by his side or at least somewhere nearby. Those who ever paid more attention to him were whispered something to by the nearest nurse -- even Remus with his superior hearing could never catch their words, but he knew very well what they said.

'_Werewolf_.' That word, that stigma would follow him for the rest of his life, even more than the stigma of an orphan. And that word always made the parent candidates turn away, shivering in fear and disgust when they realized that they had actually been considering, even if for a brief moment, adopting a _werewolf_.

And nowadays, nobody even looked at him. They went to the younger kids, and one of them would be pleasant and lively and polite enough, and he or she would get parents and a proper home. And Remus was always happy for them, but he was also envious, really envious because they could have a proper, normal life with parents and a home. A loving home where they could always go to, and loving parents who would never give them up. Never, since proper parents would never give up their child, would they?

He could just suppress a sob that threatened to escape from his lips. Even Sirius's parents hadn't abandoned him, and they outright _hated_ him, had hated him even before he went to Hogwarts and got sorted in Gryffindor. Just how horrible had Remus been for his parents to abandon him, to leave him on an orphanage's steps with only the clothes he had on himself and a thin necklace that had once been his grandmother's and that he had refused to part from? How bad he _could_ have been to be left alone like that? And just how much had his parents hated him?

Remus knew he wasn't the only one, of course. Oh, he knew it better than well. Only three days after he'd been brought to the orphanage -- he'd been only three then -- another boy had been brought there. He'd only had a small bag full of worthless chattels with him, that and his name and the clothes on him. His mother, too, had brought him to the orphanage, but while Remus's parents had just put him on the steps of the house and casted a spell to make sure he would stay there, Severus had been brought inside. To keep him safe, his mother had said, safe from his father who always beat him and her. Severus hadn't said anything, just scowled, and then walked over to stand next to Remus and remained there, in one way or another, for the next ten years. And there he still was, in spirit if not in flesh, and if Remus's other friends had known, they'd been mad.

Secrets. Big, dirty secrets were all that Remus had in life. The secret of his Lycanthropy for starters -- only his friends knew about it, and the teachers and the nurses in the orphanage. To everyone else, it was a secret. As well he kept in secret from his friends in Hogwarts that he was an orphan, that he'd been so horrible that his parents had abandoned him. And the secret of being friends with Severus, the one secret he wasn't going to give up in one way or another; he would never tell any of his other friends, and he would never stop being Severus's friend, either. Oh, and of course, the secret that he was a wizard, which was very well kept from every Muggle child in the semi-magical orphanage he and Severus nowadays lived in.

He had much to thank Severus for. For his life, for example. It'd been only Severus because of whom Remus had come out alive from his encounter with a werewolf, which had been when he'd been only six. As he had been "bad" -- in fact, he hadn't done anything, but one of the older boys had blamed him for something he hadn't done -- he had been locked out for the night. Yes, it had been harsh, but so had been all the nurses in their first orphanage. Unfortunately, nobody had noticed the fact that it was a full moon.

Severus had noticed. He had lain awake in his bed, the window open, waiting for Remus to give the mark they'd decided on so he would help his friend inside to warm up. However, what he had heard had been a scream of fear. A quick glance outside had shown him a big wolf advancing on his friend. Severus maybe had been only six years old, but he had known very well what to do, and without a moment's hesitating, he had run to wake up the head nurse.

The werewolf had been driven away, and Remus had stayed alive. However, he'd also been cursed with the Lycanthropy -- the worst curse there was in the whole wide Wizarding World. The orphanage had been shut after that, and all kids had been sent to different orphanages around the country. Severus and Remus had of course stuck up together, as they'd always been the best friends ever since they'd first met in the very same orphanage. It had been Severus who'd sat by Remus and held his hand while the newly-turned werewolf had cringed in pain as the Ministry officials had carved his werewolf ID number on his arm, it had been Severus with whom Remus had spoken many late nights, it had been Severus with whom Remus had together cried about being alone and abandoned.

They were different, true. Their similar pasts and upbringing had led them into two different directions. While Remus defended, Severus attacked. While Remus tried to please everyone, Severus was nasty to everyone and anyone. But despite these differences, they'd still stayed best friends all these years, and were still, not that many people knew about that.

So, he valued Severus's friendship over anything else. Even over his friendship with the other Marauders, even though he did hold that to a great value, too. If he'd had to pick between Sirius, Peter, and James and Severus, he'd immediately settled on his Slytherin friend. They were more than friends, they were brothers -- in soul and spirit, if not in blood. They had promised to stay together, no matter what.

And he would stick up to his brother, even if it meant losing his friends.

* * *

The next chapter:

James's parents visit the very same orphanage where Remus and Severus currently live.


	2. The Visit

Disclaimer: I own very little.

A/N: ::shakes head:: I really don't know what to think of this chap. Anyway... On with it.

* * *

Qualms and Connections 

Chapter 2:

The Visit

* * *

"Stop being childish, James," said Alanna Potter strictly. "We're getting you a brother, period. No, you cannot make us change our minds. We've decided on this already. So, please stop." 

"No, I won't," the boy said sharply. "I will not stop until you've come back to your senses. You already have me! I am your son! Whatever would you want another child for? It'd only be more trouble!"

"Well, at the moment we're pretty seriously considering giving you out in exchange of this new son," Gary said dryly. Then he, too, looked stern. "Try to understand, James," he said. "It's not that you weren't a good son, far from that. It's just that we can better than well support a bigger family, and we want to give some orphan a home. Imagine what your life would be like if you had no family, no parents, no home, not a thing to call your own aside from the clothes on you. What would that feel like? And why do you so badly wish that fate to whomever we're going to adopt and give a proper home to?"

To this, James didn't find an answer. However, he was far too spoiled to just give up at that. "I still don't want a brother," he said stubbornly. "Nor do I want a sister. Take in some mutt from the street if you want to make some stray bastard's life a bit better!"

"James Gary Potter!" snapped Alanna, fuming. "That was the last of it! If you say one word more, we will adopt five other kids and give _you_ up, don't you doubt my words!"

And seeing how angry his mother was, James didn't doubt it. Neither did he doubt that he had just got himself into a very deep shit -- and that he most certainly would get a brother. No matter if his parents had to look through every single Wizarding orphanage in the whole country, he would get a brother.

Life sucked.

* * *

As soon as Gary and Alanna entered the St. Helen's Semi-Magical Orphanage, a happy-looking nurse hurried to greet them. "I'm afraid you cannot just walk around and pick a child to your liking, as that's the Wizarding standard only, and we're now having some Muggles on a visit," she said apologetically. Of course she knew who they were, as they had asked for an appointment. She nodded towards a truly Muggle-looking couple, who were talking with a little girl some way afar. "I'll take you to the head nurse, she'll surely let you look through the files of our children." 

Alanna and Gary nodded, then followed the woman through the corridors of the orphanage. At last, they stopped in front of an oak door. After knocking on the door and briefly announcing the reason for their visit, the nurse opened the door and let them inside.

"So you are a Wizarding couple willing to adopt a child?" asked the head nurse, eyeing them questioningly. Her smile was a bit too sweet, making it very difficult for the Potters to trust her.

"Yes, we are," replied Gary. "A boy, preferably -- twelve years or so. Our son -- a biological one -- doesn't want to be the youngest in the family if he's going to have a brother."

"I understand." The nurse flicked her wand, and a pile of files flew from the nearby shelf. They were all of the boys between eleven and thirteen years of age. "Any more wishes?"

"Well, he should be a wizard," Alanna said. "That would be much easier." Another flick, and most of the files disappeared. "And intelligent, if possible, and not one to get angry too easily." Gary nodded at this. James was a hothead at times, and it would be good if the new boy didn't rise to the bait.

Even more files disappeared, leaving only two onto the table. Alanna reached out her hand to look at them, but to her great shock, the nurse just took the files and started to put them back to the shelf.

"Well, I'm sorry, but you're asking a bit too much," she said with an apologetical smile. "Maybe you should give up a couple of the qualities you hope to have in your new son?"

"But there were two files left!" argued Gary. "Who are those for, and why couldn't we adopt one of them?"

"Well, you hardly would like them," the woman said with another overly sweet smile, though now there was a hint of steel in her voice. "One of them is Severus Snape. Intelligent, yes, and not a hothead, but he hates everything and everyone, except for maybe his best friend."

"And the other one?" probed Alanna annoyedly. How could this nurse try to make the choice for them?

"The said best friend," the nurse said. "Remus Lupin. He's not a bad-mannered boy, far from that, he's kind to everyone who comes to his sight. However, he is --" she lowered her voice -- "a werewolf."

Now, Alanna blinked. "And?" she asked. "My cousin is a werewolf, too. I see no problem with that."

"Me neither," Gary said. "However, I _do_ see a problem with the fact that you're treating the poor boy like he was a beast. You said that he is friendly and kind -- then why do you talk of him like a monster?"

The nurse was a bit taken aback by this. "Very well," she said then stiffly. "I'll take you to him, if you truly insist. All the better for me if I get that beast out of my hands." Then she started to lead them to the actual orphanage from her office, ignoring their angry glares.

When they walked into the playroom of the orphanage, the noise was horrible. Some children stopped their games to look at the Potters interestedly, but when the nurse just led the couple past them, they returned to their previous doings. Some, however, gave them longing glances, ones that Alanna had to force herself to ignore. These children were young, these children were human. They had a chance to get adopted. Remus, however, most probably would never have another chance, thanks to all the stupid prejudices.

At last they reached the far corner of the room. There they saw a lonely boy, who was seemingly just heading to a nearby door. A sharp word from the head nurse, however, stopped him. "Severus Snape!" snapped the witch. "Where is that good-for-nothing friend of yours?"

"He's in the garden, Ma'am," the boy replied, raising his eyebrow. "What do you want of him? Neither of us has done anything wrong. Not that it mattered, anyway, as you'll punish us regardless of whether we've done something bad or not." It was rather obvious he didn't notice the two visitors immediately.

"That's none of your business," snapped the nurse. "Now, this couple wants to talk with your friend. And if you dare to interrupt their conversation, Merlin's the only one who can help you!"

"I don't doubt that," the boy said lazily. However, there was a sharp glint in his deep-black eyes. Those eyes seemed to look right through them, so sharp they were. Despite the fact that the Potters no more thought much of the nurse's words, they had no problem believing that this boy disliked most people.

And, when they were led outside through the nearby door and the nurse had pointed at a small-sized boy, muttering something too low for them to hear properly, they had already made their decision.

The boy was far skinnier than anybody his age should have been. Alanna couldn't help but wonder whether it was because of his werewolf transformations or because they didn't give him enough to eat in the orphanage. Considering the head nurse's attitude about him, it was pretty probable. Werewolves did need more food than normal people, and probably these monsters didn't think it wise to use more resources on the "beast" than their beloved human children. Really, the only beasts in the whole place were the nurses.

Remus was also pale. His golden hair was a bit messy, like he had spent the whole day outside in the wind. Maybe he didn't want to be inside; Alanna herself certainly wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere near people who treated her like the nurses treated the poor boy. Now, the boy was sitting on a little bench, a thick book in his lap, seemingly wholly concentrated in whatever it was he was reading. A pair of reading glasses was perched on his nose, and there was a tiny frown between his brows that the witch found absolutely adorable. Just as well she adored the boy's habit to chew his lower lip when he was deep in thought. Yes, she definitely wanted to adopt this little, skinny boy and make him all happy and healthy again.

Alanna glanced at her husband, and got a nod in return. Seemingly Gary's thoughts were running along the same lines as hers, and he, too, wanted to adopt Remus. Good. Now she wouldn't have to argue about it with him. Of course she would have won, but it would have been a bit annoying.

So, both equally determined to make this badly hurt boy theirs, they stepped forward.

Remus was startled from his reading as somebody crouched in front of him, taking the book from his lap. For a moment he thought that it was one of the bigger boys again, and that they would throw his book away and taunt him, but to his surprise, the book was put gently to his side, not losing the page. A quick glance to the person in front of him showed him a friendly-looking woman, who was smiling. And who had the most familiar hazel eyes. Remus had many times seen those eyes -- on James.

'_Oh, shit_,' he thought. '_So they did come here... What do they want_?'

"Hello, Remus -- that's your name, isn't it?" The woman smiled warmly at him as he nodded warily. "I am Alanna Potter, and this is my husband Gary. We're interested in adopting you, little one."

Now Remus raised his eyes to the man standing next to her, startled. As the man, too, just smiled reassuringly at him, he cowered a bit. "But -- you cannot possibly want to adopt me," he said quietly. "I am --" He swallowed and shook his head, unable to finish his sentence.

"We know what you are, Remus," Alanna said soothingly. "I have a cousin who is a werewolf, I know you cannot help it. It's anything but your fault, dear boy."

"We'll make sure you are as comfortable as possible during the full moons," continued the man -- James's father, like Remus knew very well. James had told that the eldest son in every generation of the Potters looked exactly like those before them, although they always had their mother's eyes; it was some kind of a family curse or something. And truly, Gary Potter looked exactly like his son did.

Of course, Remus was still hesitant to even consider accepting their offer. "But I'm dangerous to be around on full moons," he said. "And I have to be locked up. It'd be much easier to you to just get a human child."

"You _are_ human," said Alanna firmly. Suddenly she drew Remus into a warm embrace, startling the werewolf by this sudden touch. After a moment, the stiff, uneasy boy slowly relaxed in her arms. He couldn't remember ever being hugged by anybody else but Severus, and the feeling was new to him. Was this what James got every day from this woman -- his mother?

'_James_,' he remembered, and stiffened again. James had said he would hate whomever was his new brother. Remus didn't want James to hate him, since it would mean that Sirius and Peter hated him, too. James was the leader of their group, and if he hated someone, so did Sirius and Peter. That's why they also hated Severus, who had never done anything bad to them.

And there was another reason, Severus. His best friend, his _only_ friend until he went into Hogwarts and met James and Sirius and Peter. Becoming James's brother might mean that he couldn't meet Severus anymore, that he couldn't be his friend anymore. And besides, he had promised.

"What do you think, Remus?" asked Gary softly when Alanna finally released the young werewolf. "Would you want to become our son? We already have one son, his name is James, and we'd really like him to have a brother. You probably have at least heard of him already, you both go to Hogwarts, after all. And do not worry, he won't mind that you are a werewolf, he knows better than that."

Of course James wouldn't mind the fact that he was a werewolf, he already knew that. But James would mind that he was an orphan, that nobody had wanted him. And he would mind that Remus had come to his home, taking away his position as the only child. _And_ that Severus was his friend.

Maybe James would come to live with that by time. Maybe they could be friends, and even brothers in the end. That might happen -- if Remus accepted the offer and became a Potter instead of a Lupin. (Not that he'd ever really been Lupin, he'd just been given the name after he'd been bitten.)

But Remus couldn't do that. He just couldn't. He'd promised Severus he'd never leave him -- just like Severus had promised the same thing to him. And accepting this offer would have been betraying his friend, forgetting the promise he had made and had always kept, at least until now.

Oh, he did know that Severus would have most probably wanted him to accept, just like Remus would have wanted Severus to accept, if anybody had wanted to adopt the Slytherin. True, then he would have been left alone into the orphanage, but that didn't really matter much.

"I'm sorry," he thus said softly. "I've promised my friend that I won't leave him alone here, and I won't."

"Oh!" Alanna looked surprised, and, to his great surprise, understanding. "You don't want to be separated from your friend? Don't worry, we can arrange that," she said. "He attends to Hogwarts, too, doesn't he? You'll surely meet him there. And you can visit him here whenever you like."

"But I can't," Remus protested. "It would be betraying him, if I got a family and he'd still be alone here. So, although I'd really want to become your son, I can't accept your offer. I can't leave him alone."

"Well, we cannot adopt two boys," Gary said slowly, then glanced at Alanna. "But we have a couple of friends who certainly wouldn't mind another child. Their names are Molly and Arthur Weasley, and they have two children, Bill and Charlie, but they would want more. We could ask them to adopt your friend, so you wouldn't be betraying him, and could still meet him often."

"What does that sound like, little one?" Alanna asked, now smiling again. "Would you then accept?"

Unable to resist anymore, Remus nodded. "Yes, I would," he said. "If your friend truly adopts Severus, I will become your son. But I doubt anybody would like Severus, he hates anybody but me," he added quietly. It was true, after all -- as much as he loved Severus, he had to admit that.

"Oh, have no worry," laughed Alanna. "Molly has a way with people, nobody can hate her for long. I'll firecall her tonight already. And if she accepts -- like I know she will -- we will come to pick you and Severus from here tomorrow. So, be ready for that."

Again, Remus nodded. However, he did fear -- fear that this Molly wouldn't want Severus anymore once she saw his friend. And if the Potters had adopted him already by that point, he would be separated from Severus. And this time, it would be forever -- he just knew that.

* * *

Next chapter:

Some Remus-Severus interaction.


	3. The Friend

Disclaimer: I own very little.

A/N: Don't ask where the song in this chapter came from. I was folding the clean laundry to be put into closet the other day, thought about the title of another one of my stories, _Give Me Your Hand_, and, well, just read it and you'll see...

* * *

Qualms and Connections 

Chapter 3:

The Friend

* * *

"What is this" asked suddenly a voice from Remus's side. Startled, the werewolf looked up to the person who had spoken. Seeing Severus standing in front of him, he relaxed, sighing in relief. So it hadn't been another one of the older boys who'd come to bully him. 

"What do you mean" he asked from his friend. "What 'this' are you asking an explanation for"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Why, the fact that you're still here, of course" he replied. "I waited in our room, waiting for you to come to collect your things, but you never came. What's wrong"

"'What's wrong'" echoed Remus. "Rather you should ask that if I wasn't here anymore."

"Why so" Severus raised his eyebrows. "I was under the impression that they wanted to adopt you. And, by the looks of the man, they too were the Potters, like you thought would never happen. So, what's so difficult about my question? Did they change their minds on the last minute, or what"

"They didn't change their mind" said Remus softly. "I refused to accept the Adoption Charm from them... I promised not to leave you, and I had to keep my promise. Therefore, I refused to accept their offer."

Severus's eyes widened in genuine shock. Remus had turned down a perfect family - to be with him? That was just, just incredible. It could not be true. I had to be not true.

_

* * *

I don't ask you anything,_

_Yet you'd give up everything_

_Just to be_

_Here with me._

* * *

The Slytherin shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. However, they were still just a mix of miss-matched emotions and motivations. He was shocked that Remus had refused to accept the Potters' offer - and at the same time, he was delighted that his friend had stayed with him. It was just unbelievable. 

That wasn't right. Remus should have got a new family, he certainly deserved that, as there was no kinder and more friendly person than he was. If he had turned the offer down just to be with Severus, then it was Severus's fault that he hadn't got what he well deserved. And that pained the dark-haired boy more than anything else could have done, for he'd never wanted to hurt Remus.

He was not a nice person, true. In fact, he was quite nasty - insufferable at times, at least to anybody but Remus. However, to Remus, he'd always been nice. The small boy had been the only one besides his mother who had ever accepted him, and Severus accepted Remus in return. And when he did admit some positive feelings to anybody, he held to them with a passion. Never he'd doubted his right and need to care for Remus, not even when the Marauders had taunted him and Remus stayed quiet.

Now, however, his caring for the werewolf had probably destroyed the only true chance at happiness Remus might get in his life. Severus, at least, could get a good job once he got out of the orphanage, he certainly had enough mind for that. Remus, however, while at least as clever as Severus if not more, was a werewolf. With no full human status and no caring family, he would not get far. Knowing this, Severus felt bad - felt bad because it was now his fault that Remus's future had been destroyed.

_

* * *

I do not want to do bad,_

_Anything that makes you sad;_

_Yet I do:_

_I love you._

* * *

Maybe he should ask if the Potters' offer was still open. And if it was, he could start being nasty to Remus. He could call him a fool for not accepting, tell that he didn't really care if Remus kept his promise or not, that he in fact would have preferred the werewolf to leave. There was only one thing preventing him: He couldn't bring himself to do it. He, Severus Snape, who took pride in his ability to be nasty to everyone and anyone, was unable to drive his best friend away from himself, even if it was for Remus's own good. 

_

* * *

I should drive you away_

_Yet my heart wants you to stay_

_And this is all I can say:_

* * *

"You should have accepted" Severus said quietly, and meant it. Remus would have deserved a better future, much more so than Severus himself. There was no reason why Remus couldn't have accepted, not really. Only that Severus didn't want to be left alone. If Remus left and became a Potter, there would soon be four Marauders taunting him, not three. And that was the last thing he wanted. 

No, not the last thing. The last thing he wanted was that Remus left him at all. He had nobody else in his life but the werewolf, and he didn't want Remus to leave, even though he knew it would be for his best and only friend's own good. No, Severus was too emotional, and too selfish. He wanted Remus to himself.

_

* * *

Give me your hand,_

_I'll lead you through the rain._

_Give me your hand,_

_And take away my pain._

* * *

"Don't worry" Remus said with his trademark soothing smile. "I said them why I couldn't accept. They said that they'd try to arrange some of their friends to adopt you, so I wouldn't be abandoning you. They said this woman really likes everyone" he then said defensively, seeing Severus's disbelieving expression. 

"Whatever" the other boy snapped. "Even people who usually do like everyone hate me at first sight. I can't do anything about it, Remus. I'm just naturally hateable." He smirked dryly. "But you have to accept."

"I don't have to do anything" the werewolf replied lightly. He did know, however, that Severus was right. It would have taken a saint to accept Severus as one's own son. As much as he did love his friend, he had to admit that people very rarely liked Severus - if ever. But, he would not leave Severus alone. Even if he'd been offered the best family in the world, he knew that he couldn't be really happy without Severus.

Therefore, he would stay an orphan. He would live through his life, become an outcast, and never complain, because that was what he had to pay for being with Severus. It was what he was ready to pay.

_

* * *

Give me your hand,_

_It's all I'll ever need_

_To be happy..._

* * *

Severus shook his head disbelievingly. "You are a saint to want to stay with somebody like me, Remus" he muttered. "And as a saint, you would deserve a family. I, however, am anything but that." Shaking his head again, he then sighed. "Come on, let's go inside" he said. "You get too little to eat anyway, it'll do no good if we're late from dinner. You know that if we're late, we won't get anything." 

"I do know" Remus admitted quietly. He took his book from the ground and tucked it in his armpit. Then he started to follow Severus inside. Once in the dining room, he sat there next to Severus, and accepted his far-too-little-for-a-werewolf portion from the nurse without a single complaint. He did frown, however, when he saw Severus moving some of his own food to his plate, but didn't say anything, nor did he return the food to the Slytherin. Anybody saying a word in the table would have to leave immediately, finished with eating or not, and giving Severus's food back would have been no use, as it'd been returned to him anyway. Well, he had to admit that Severus could deal with a lot less food than he.

After the silent meal - well, silent aside from the clatter of the cutlery and the occasional dropped spoon from the smaller children - they moved to the small sitting room of the older children. The others didn't pay any attention to the two friends as they started to play chess in one corner of the room. It wasn't a Wizard's Chess, as there were also Muggle children in the orphanage, no, it was just a Muggle game. Still, they were enjoying it, as it gave their minds some work and also an excellent excuse to talk.

_

* * *

I am too dark for your light_

_You should have all strength and might_

_Yet with me_

_You will be._

* * *

Oh, they did know the rumours that were moving around the orphanage. They felt it in the nurses' gazes on their backs, heard it from the whispered discussions that were immediately stopped when they came near, saw it in the other orphans' eyes. Everybody thought that they were a gay couple. After all, they always stuck up to each other, no matter what, and slept in the same room. In the same bed, even, occasionally, no matter how many times the nurses punished them about it. There was nothing sexual in their relationship, however - this undeniably suspicious sleeping arrangement was just a solution to the constant nightmares that burdened both from time to time. Lying next to a friend nothing was as scary as alone. 

The rumours hadn't started until the previous summer. Neither of them knew if the reason was the fact that they'd grown old enough to be considered sexual beings, or if it was only because they'd been moved to a new orphanage yet again. Either way, they nowadays had to find excuses for spending their time together. Sure, it did seem ridiculous that you couldn't talk to a friend without doing homework or playing chess or something, but they still did it. If it kept both the nurses and other older orphans from whispering"Queer" every time they walked by side by side, they were only glad to do that.

So, their game of chess working as an excuse for them to be so near to each other in public, they talked further about the Potters' offer to Remus. Severus seriously did not believe that anybody would be willing to adopt him, but he was wholeheartedly encouraging Remus to accept the offer of a true family. Remus, while just as convinced that Severus couldn't be adopted, was not willing to leave his friend behind.

"Merlin knows what these prejudiced dunderheads might do" he muttered, glancing at the biggest boys nearby, all of whom were often openly aggressive towards the "queers." Nothing could convince them of the fact that Remus and Severus weren't together, and only the fact that they never went around without the other somewhere nearby kept them from being beaten.

Of course they could have got other friends. Remus was certainly kind and friendly enough to make friends with anybody - if the nurses only allowed that to a werewolf - but he would not abandon Severus, and Severus scared everybody away. And Severus, while not a really friend person, was just the kind of a boy who usually had a group of bootlickers around them, bossy and nasty, one you didn't want to be on your bad side. However, he stubbornly stayed as Remus's friend, and that made him a target instead of a leader.

But, while they both would have undoubtedly had at least a bit easier life if they hadn't been so close, nothing was changed. They'd been together that far, ever since they'd been three. They would still stay together, no matter what lies all prejudiced nurses and bullies told about them.

_

* * *

I still cannot understand:_

_Why beside me you would stand?_

_Unless you_

_Love me, too._

* * *

At last their game ended in Severus's victory. Remus, who had already known halfway through the game that he'd lose, sighed and stood up. "I think it's about the time we go to sleep" he said. 

"As I won the game, does that mean that you'll agree with me and accept the Potters' offer" asked Severus, raising an eyebrow. "Or what do I have to do to make you get adopted"

"You can't make me do that" replied Remus calmly. "I'm not leaving you alone here, Severus. Merlin knows that those bastards would kill you." He glanced at the few queer-haters nearby. Every and each one of them was watching them hatefully, convinced that they engaged in some perverse actions every night in their shared room. There wasn't any way to make them believe otherwise, that much they both knew.

So, not paying another thought to them, they went to their room. However, despite their usual watchfulness, they failed to notice an evil glint in the older boys' eyes as they left the room.

As soon as they entered their room, however, they noticed that something was really wrong. The last beams of sunlight from their tiny window made something on the floor shine, like pieces of mirror. A closer glance showed them that these numerous tiny objects were fragments of crystal. A very particular crystal object.

_

* * *

I should drive you away_

_Yet my heart wants you to stay_

_And this is all I can say:_

* * *

"No" whispered Severus. "They cannot have... No, I don't believe it! Why did they do it? Why would they ever do it" He knelt down on the floor, carefully starting to collect the crystal shreds on the floor. Remus started to help him, not saying a word. 

The crystal statue had been one of Severus's most treasured possessions. It was the only thing his mother had let him have when she'd taken him to the orphanage to keep him safe from his father. The statue had pictured a woman carrying a child, a gentle expression on her face. When they'd been little, they had often fallen asleep just staring at the statue, both imagining that it was _their_ mother carrying _them_, and not just some nameless woman and a nameless baby. But it was not so - they were both orphans, not through their parents' death but through being abandoned.

However, that statue had pretty much kept them, and especially Severus, sane during all their years of being tossed from one orphanage to another. They were certain that it had some kind of magic to keep them together, no matter what the orphanages decided to do with them. It had also been the only proof Severus had that somebody had truly loved him, somewhere, sometime. Remus didn't have even that much, only a broken necklace he'd got from his grandmother.

Severus's statue was the centre of their lives, however ridiculous that might sound. When they'd been little - they'd done many foolish things when they'd been little - they had sometimes thought that it would suddenly turn into a real woman, a real woman who would take them away from the orphanage and give them a real home. The statue had never changed, and they had a long time ago given up hoping that somebody would adopt them, but the statue was still there, reminding them of that childish hope that somebody might care, that somebody might love. They knew that nobody ever could or would, but it was nice to hope, sometimes, when candlelight flickered on the crystal statue during the long nights they spent whispering quiet things to each other, or just sitting next to each other in a comfortable silence.

And now, somebody had broken the statue. They had broken the only thing Severus had had to tie him to his past, the only thing that represented hope to them both.

Even though Remus did his best to stop it, he felt hot, salty tears rolling down his cheeks as he collected the crystal pieces into his hands, oblivious to the many cuts and scratches he got as he did so.

_

* * *

Give me your hand,_

_I'll lead you through the rain._

_Give me your hand,_

_And take away my pain._

* * *

When they had got all the tiny fragments collected, Severus carefully slipped them into a leather pouch, one which he then tied on a piece of string and hung around his neck. Then, he turned towards Remus. 

"I cannot take this anymore, Remus" he whispered quietly. "I just cannot... I have to get out of here, now. _We_ have to get out of here. There's no way I could stay here for longer, and there's no way I'd leave you behind." Then he added bitterly"Unless you want to go to your _family_, of course."

"No, I don't" said Remus immediately, not even considering that. "I want to stay with you, Severus, you know that. Wherever you go, I go. Whatever you do, I do." Then, a frown appearing on his face, he said"What shall we do, though? We cannot just run away, they'd immediately find our magical traces. And we couldn't survive without magic, anyway - but we are far from being of age."

_

* * *

Give me your hand,_

_It's all I'll ever need._

_Give me your hand..._

* * *

"Then we have to make sure they won't find our magical traces" said Severus, his eyes glowing with the Slytherin cunning he had. "You see... The magical imprints of dead are automatically cleared from the Ministry's registries." 

"What do you mean" asked Remus warily. He usually did not like the outcome whenever Severus's eyes glowed like that. And he had a sinking feeling that he would not like this one, either.

"I mean" replied the Slytherin simply"that we have to die." Then, as he saw Remus's shocked expression, he let out a sharp, haughty laugh. "Not really, of course, my dear simple Gryffindor" he said with a sharp tone. "But, they have to _think _that we are dead. Making them think that is the tricky part, getting out of here is not."

"Then how can we make them believe that" asked Remus disbelievingly. He knew that Severus was good at making twisted plans, but this seemed to be a too big bite even for his friend.

"Have some trust in me, will you" snapped Severus back. "Trust me, Remus, tomorrow morning our death will be all over the newspapers... and this time tomorrow, we'll be far from this horrible place."

* * *

A/N: Grrr... I hate homophobes.

Next chapter: Just what is Severus's plan, and will it work?


	4. The Fire

Disclaimer: I own very little.

A/N: It's been about forever since I last updated, but... oh, well. This is another one on my list of "fics that should be completed within a few chapters", but I am not making any promises about when the future updates are going to show up.

* * *

Qualms and Connections 

Chapter 4:

The Fire

* * *

"See?" Severus glanced up from the parchment in front of him. "If we use this spell, we can create lifeless copies of ourselves. Then, we simply put the place in fire and leave the copies in the flames. They'll clear our magical imprints from the registries, and we can get food, shelter, and warmth by spells. Simple." 

"But what if it doesn't work?" asked Remus, frowning. "If we get caught, we'll be expelled from Hogwarts for using magic outside the school before being of age. And then, we'll never get another chance at anything." It wasn't that he didn't trust Severus. However, he didn't trust their luck, and for a reason, too. Neither of them had ever been particularly lucky; rather, they had the worst luck of all.

"It will work," Severus said confidently. "It has to work. If we prepare it well enough and then complete the plan quickly enough, everybody will think that we died. They won't even bother to look after us. We'll be free, Remus. Can you imagine it? We'll be free!" That thought was truly exciting to them both. Ever since they'd been just little kids, they'd never been free to come and go as they pleased. The nurses always kept a close watch on them, especially on Remus, never letting them leave the orphanage's area even when the other older orphans went for a walk with a nurse, or something. Well, so Severus could have left, but as Remus was forced to stay behind, being "too dangerous to let loose," he never did.

Remus imagined it. And, slowly, a smile spread onto his face. "It'll be wonderful," he said, grinning. "Very well. You're better with Transfigurations, look up that copying spell, and something we can use to make food. I'll study some warming charms so we won't freeze."

"I'll do that," Severus said. "Besides, I can stay most of the time in my cat form. That way, I won't need so much to eat." Ah, another one of their secrets. To be able to stay with his friend during the full moon, Severus had studied hard to become an Animagus. His form was a midnight-black cat with eyes just as dark as his fur. Of course, nobody else but Remus knew of this, so he always had to secretly sneak into the small cell where they locked Remus up to for the full moon night. With his friend present, Remus always felt much more human and calm, and didn't hurt himself half as much as he usually did.

Now, however, there would be no more being locked up for the werewolf. There would be no more having too little food, or hateful glares and whispers from older orphans. Now, finally, they would be free.

Oh, did Severus wait eagerly for that.

* * *

James glanced up as his parents stepped into the living room. "What's wrong?" he asked with his most annoying voice. "Where's my new brother, now? Didn't find anybody that'd suit you?" 

"In fact, we did," Gary said calmly, not shaken by his son's hostile behaviour. "However, he refused to be adopted, telling that he would not leave his friend behind."

"We would have tried to speak him over otherwise," said Alanna, glancing sharply at her son, "but as you were so much against us adopting a child, we decided to wait. We want you to know, however, that if we can make the Weasleys to adopt his friend, you'll get a new brother immediately."

For a moment, James just stared at them. Then he stood up and stormed out of the room. A moment later they heard him slamming the door of his room closed.

Alanna sighed, biting her lip. Gary drew her nearer, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't worry," he said quietly. "He'll come around." However, in the inside, Gary was just as worried as his wife. James had quite a temperament at times, and he also happened to be extraordinarily stubborn. They would not give up their decision, knowing that their son had to act more maturely, but still this worried them. It would not be easy for their new child to have such a hateful older brother.

* * *

The next morning James wandered into the kitchen on an especially bad mood. The last night he'd overheard a Floo conversation his mother'd had with Molly Weasley, who had cheerfully accepted adopting his future brother's friend. That meant that he indeed would be stuck with a brother. Splendid. 

When he got to the kitchen, however, he found his parents still there, much to his surprise. "What?" snapped James irritably. "Aren't you going to fetch my new _brother_ now?"

"No," said Gary, gravely serious. "We aren't going to fetch him. You won't have a new brother, James."

"Why not?" asked the boy, blinking. Not that he wasn't happy about the sudden turn of events, no, but his parents didn't usually change their plans just like that.

"Because he's dead," Alanna said quietly, her lower lip quivering threateningly. "Both he and that friend of his are dead. Look!" And then she handed the Daily Prophet to her son.

James took it and glanced down at the paper. As soon as he saw the picture of the two boys, he gasped in surprise. "You're not telling me that you were going to adopt _Remus_, are you?" he asked in disbelief as his eyes started to dart through the article.

"You know him?" asked Gary, confused. This was definitely not something he'd expected.

"Of course I do!" replied James, raising his eyes from the newspaper. "Remus is -- was -- one of my best friends at Hogwarts! I just didn't know that he was an orphan, he never told us, and I certainly didn't know that he was friends with Snape. I most certainly wouldn't have protested if I had known it was him you wanted to adopt!" Then, his eyes met the caption under the picture, and he gasped again, this time in pure shock, as the news finally sank in. Of course he'd heard it before, but he had not really acknowledged it until now. "Oh, dear Merlin... Remus... he's -- he's dead."

"That he is," said Gary gravely. "I can't help thinking that maybe, just maybe, if we had taken him yesterday... If we had coaxed him more... Maybe he would still be alive. It's our fault, in a way."

Alanna started to sob silently. James, however, didn't hear that. He just stared in front of him, two thoughts going around in his mind.

'_Remus is dead_,' was the first one. And the second one, which was even more horrid, was, '_It's my fault._'

That was more than the thirteen-year-old wizard could bear. One of his best friends was dead now, dead and would not come back, and it was only because _he_ had been childish and stubborn.

He fell down to his knees, starting to sob helplessly. His parents just watched him, unable to offer any comfort or consolation, knowing that it would be useless.

* * *

A piece of paper drifted in the wind. It flew teasingly close to a werewolf lying on the ground. 

Remus reached out a hand, catching the paper. Maybe it was something interesting.

It was a page from the Daily Prophet. An article about the fire at the orphanage; how truly appropriate it was! The werewolf's eyes quickly scanned down the article, then jumped again up to the picture.

Remus looked at the picture and snorted. The nurses always took a picture of every child once a year, or when they came to the orphanage, so they always had a recent picture to show if the child ran away or otherwise disappeared -- that happened quite a lot. And as Remus and Severus never went anywhere without the other near, the nurses had decided to avoid the enormous trouble of taking another picture and just put them in the same picture, figuring that their pictures would anyway be needed at the same time. So there they were, Remus smiling timidly, Severus scowling at whomever was watching the picture, his hand securely lying on Remus's shoulder.

The caption and its sweetness were so badly overdone that he didn't honestly know whether to cry or laugh. "_The best friends, Remus Lupin and Severus Snape when everything was still well -- the two boys only a week before both their short lives ended abruptly in the tragic fire in the St. Helen's Semi-Magical Orphanage last night._"

He heard something landing on the ground behind him, then the sound of air escaping as something grew suddenly larger, pushing away everything around it. "Found something interesting?" asked a voice from behind him. Remus turned around to look at Severus, grinning at his friend as he showed him the page. Severus took it and quickly read through the article, a rare smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Well, well," he said amusedly. "Never thought we'd only have to die to make it to the paper."

Even though amused on the outside, Severus was a bit worried in the inside. He did trust their ability to keep themselves warm and fed, no trouble with that. However, he was still worried for Remus. There were several people out there who would have liked nothing more than to kill a stray werewolf if they came across Remus on a full moon night, and Severus would be unable to help. He didn't want his best and only friend to get hurt in any way. If Remus was killed, it'd be his fault -- after all, this had been his idea.

Besides, this was not what Remus deserved. He deserved to have a loving family and a good future, not being stuck hiding out in the woods with an antisocial bastard as his only company. Severus himself was pretty much content just being with Remus, but, at least in his opinion, this was definitely not enough for Remus. His friend was not meant for this kind of life, and even though he might be happy, Remus was not. The werewolf was surely only there to make him happy, and that pained him. He'd always only caused Remus trouble. Did he really have to take Remus's whole life away from him?

However, he couldn't help himself. As wonderful as the thought of Remus getting adopted was, at the same time he felt that he could not let his friend go. He did wish every bit of happiness for Remus, but if Remus left, he'd be alone. And Severus would die rather than be separated from his friend forever.

Not that he'd told that to Remus, of course. If he'd told, he would have destroyed every chance he now might have of convincing Remus to get himself adopted. Knowing what pain it would cause to him would most definitely make Remus decline -- yet another reason why he loved the other boy.

Oh, yes. Severus did love Remus, and not only as a friend, no. Of course, this was also a thing he could never tell, as that would definitely drive Remus away. Then again, maybe he should, if only to allow Remus a better life. But he was indeed too selfish for that.

Sighing so quietly that not even Remus's keen werewolf senses caught the sound, he cursed himself for his conflicting feelings. On one hand, he wanted Remus to have everything a loving family could offer, on the other, he loved Remus too much to let him go. Even after all that bullying, all the words and things he'd had to bear because of the prejudiced bastards in the orphanage, he dared to love Remus, and not as a friend, either. And just as much as it made him want to keep Remus to himself, it frightened him. He'd rather effectively taken Remus's life away from him, almost literally as they were now dead to the world, and even if the werewolf decided that he hated Severus, he'd have nowhere else to go. And if he still did leave Severus for his hatred for the "queer", he might get killed, wandering around alone. That could not happen.

So, unable to do anything else, Severus was forced to simply stay with his friend, battling against his own heart and its wishes to both send Remus away and hold tight onto him, and to keep his feelings in secret.

Remus would never know about his feelings for him. Not ever.

* * *

Next chapter: 

Things start to go wrong.


	5. The Rescue

Disclaimer: I own something.

A/N: I know that my ages for Bill and Charlie aren't "official". I've based my calculations on a comment made about Harry somewhere in the books. It was something like, "Hogwarts hasn't seen such a Seeker in seven years, not since Charlie Weasley left." I've interpreted this as Charlie having left Hogwarts seven years ago, which would make him fourteen years older than Harry. And, as the Marauders are by now 12-13 years old, Charlie in this timeline is now six and Bill is about seven years old.

Oh, and I _could_ have drawn out the angst here... However, I do want to get this finished relatively soon, and this is going to have a happy end, so...

* * *

Qualms and Connections 

Chapter 5:

The Rescue

* * *

"Remus?" asked Severus, frowning a bit. "Are you feeling all right? You aren't eating anything." 

"What? Oh, sorry, Severus," the werewolf replied with a tiny smile. "Yeah, I am feeling all right. I'm just not so hungry at the moment. I'll eat later, okay?"

However, this made his friend frown. Remus didn't look all right, he looked sick. "Are you sure nothing's wrong with you?" the darkhaired boy demanded, reaching out a hand to touch Remus' forehead. "Merlin, you're boiling hot! Why didn't you tell me?" he added angrily.

"It'll go away," Remus mumbled. "It's just the full moon coming up, nothing serious."

Severus, of course, didn't buy it. However, knowing how stubborn Remus could be when he wanted to, there was little the darkhaired boy could do. Determined to do at least something, though, Severus did force Remus to stay behind in the cave they had chosen as their "home" until the full moon as he left to look for a place for them to stay afterwards. This pattern seemed as good as anything; they would stay away from any human-habited areas on full moons, sleeping in barns and abandoned houses during the rest of the month. Severus in his cat form was becoming an expert in finding good places to stay at.

However, when he later returned, he got even more worried. The cave had become cold, a sign that Remus had dropped the warming charms. The coldness itself did not bother him much, but the possible reasons for it certainly did. Just like he'd feared, he found Remus lying down, too fevered and exhausted to get up.

Biting his lip, Severus cursed under his breath. The full moon would show up the next night. This did most certainly not promise anything good for poor Remus. Raking his memory for some spell, any kind of magic that would help, he cursed again as he realized that the only things that might help were all potions. It wasn't that he couldn't brew those potions; no, he was an expert in the field of brewery. However, even though some of the ingredients might be found somewhere in the nature, most were very hard or even impossible to acquire from anywhere else than a Wizarding shop. So, pretty much all he could do was to trust Remus' werewolf abilities to heal him. After the full moon, he would get them into a more comfortable location, and concentrate fully on doing everything he could to help his friend.

Not for the first and certainly not for the last time, he cursed himself for ever taking Remus with him.

* * *

Molly Weasley smiled as she watched her two sons running around. It had truly been a good idea to come to her sister's farm. Arthur had to stay behind as he had work, but Molly, Bill, and Charlie were now enjoying the peace of the countryside and the hospitality of Melanie and her husband Louis. 

Now, she sighed. Thinking about the reasons of coming there hurt. When Alanna Potter had asked her, she had more than happily agreed to adopt the poor boy Alanna was talking about, Severus Snape. Arthur and Molly were both from big families, and having two children without any sign of another being on the way the thought of adopting a child sounded good to both of them. A teenager might bring troubles, but surely nothing they couldn't solve. Bill and Charlie had been excited at the thought of getting a big brother.

Just as well they had all been shocked when they had read from the Daily Prophet that the boy they had planned to adopt had died in a fire along with his friend.

So, Arthur had suggested that Molly and the boys should take a small holiday to take their minds away from the matter. This far it seemed to be working, for Bill and Charlie, at least. Molly, however, was finding herself quite unable to forget, especially whenever Melanie's fifteen-year-old son Tom was in sight.

Molly frowned a bit as Bill ran into the nearby barn. Leaving her bag where she had been sitting at, she went after him. Sure, the kids would have loved nothing as much as playing in the hay and climb to the attic, but she was concerned that they might fall down, hurting themselves. Knowing Bill, he was already up.

Suddenly, however, she heard something surprising. "Mom!" shouted Bill. "There's a boy here! Two boys!"

At hearing this Molly started to hurry towards where her son's voice was coming. Charlie followed her. Climbing the ladder up, the witch was startled to find Bill indeed sitting next to two boys. One of them raised his eyes at her. "Help him," pleaded the boy with a weak voice. "Just -- just help him. _Please_."

Molly stared at the boy in shock. She recognized him -- recognized him from a photograph she'd seen in the Daily Prophet some time earlier. The boy was even paler and thinner than in the photo -- his cheekbones looked so sharp under the nonexistent layer of flesh that they could have cut paper -- and there was a haunted look in his black eyes. He'd also cut his hair, which was now hanging on uneven, messy and oily strands all around his face. However, he was still well recognizable as Severus Snape -- a boy she had once agreed to adopt, and who was now dead to most of the world. He seemed to be very cold, wearing only a thin shirt and worn-out trousers.

And there, in front of the boy, lay another. The pale boy was still like dead, only the feverish red glow on his cheeks and the short, sharp breaths escaping his mouth telling that he was indeed alive. His pale skin was covered with cuts and bruises, and the only thing covering his shivering body was a robe that didn't seem to be his, as it was a bit too large for him. Blood had tainted his messy, golden hair, as well as the overlarge robe. Yet, he could also be recognized as Remus Lupin -- again a thought-to-be-dead boy. And, by the looks of it, he would probably become dead if he didn't get help and soon.

"Well? Are you going to help him?" demanded the darkhaired boy, sounding as if he was just about to start crying at any moment. As Molly nodded mutely, still too shocked to say a word, he let out a strangled and weak, "Thank Merlin," and fell down next to his friend in a dead faint.

Now, Molly broke out from her daze, and her motherly instincts struck in immediately. "Bill, go and get Aunt Melanie," she commanded firmly. "Charlie, bring my bag, I need some of the things there."

To her slight surprise, neither of the boys protested. Instead, they just nodded, seemingly just as shocked as she was, and then ran to do as they'd been told.

Molly, however, concentrated on the two boys in front of her. She carefully collected tiny Remus into her arms, alarmed at how little he seemed to weigh. Pressing her hand on the sweaty forehead, she noticed that the boy indeed had a very high fever. Severus, however, seemed to be suffering of hypothermia, at least if his blue lips were any sign to go by. They both needed to get inside, and warm, and bathed and clothed and fed and --

A task followed another in the mental list she was making. She was just on the point of taking Severus -- on whom she'd casted the Adoption Charm somewhere around task fifteen -- to the Diagon Alley to get him some new clothes as Charlie came back, carrying her handbag, which contained her wand.

"Thank you, Charlie," sighed Molly. She quickly cast a warming spell on poor Severus, hoping to help him feel at least a bit better. Then she started to go through her memory in an attempt to find some healing charms that might help Remus. At the same time she thought of potions both boys would need as soon as possible to take care of their obvious malnutrition.

Some time later she heard as Melanie entered the barn. "Molly?" called her for sister. "Exactly what is here that would need me to come here?" As she then climbed the ladder, she drew a sharp breath. "But -- aren't they --" she started, her eyes wide. Yes, she had indeed read the Daily Prophet as well.

"Remus Lupin and Severus Snape? Yes, it looks like that," Molly sighed. "Once they get better, I'll be interested to hear how they are alive -- or, rather, why they are thought dead. Before that, however, they need warmth, food, and a mediwitch. And I am now going to get them just that."

"I agree," Melanie said firmly. Turning towards her nephews, she said, "Bill, Charlie, get Uncle Louis and Tom here. They'll help us carry the poor boys to the house." Nodding, the children hurried off.

So, both determined, the two sisters now set to work.

* * *

Severus blinked as he slowly came to. The surroundings were unfamiliar to him, and for a moment, he almost panicked. As he made to sit up, however, a gentle hand pushed him down on the bed. 

"You need to rest," said a gentle voice. "Don't worry about your friend, he's going to be fine. You'll both be fine." As his eyes managed to focus on the speaker he saw a friendly-looking, red-haired woman.

"Is he awake?" called out a child's voice. The next second two equally red-haired boys appeared to his bedside, looking at him curiously. "Are you gonna be our new big brother?" asked eagerly the one who had spoken earlier, seemingly the older one. "Mom said she's gonna adopt you!"

"Now, Bill, Charlie, let the poor boy rest," chuckled the woman. Turning towards Severus, she then said, "And, like Bill just said, my husband and I would definitely be interested in adopting you. I honestly don't think you can be as bad as those people in the orphanage made you out to be. Of course, that is only if you want to become our son," she added carefully. "As you can see, you'd get two little brothers as well."

"You don't want to adopt me," Severus said immediately. That was a fact, he knew it, and said as well.

"And why wouldn't I?" asked the woman back. "You do seem nice enough a boy to me. As you put yourself in such a bad state just to help your friend, you can't be too bad. I'd love to have you as my son."

"I like boys," the boy replied immediately. He regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth, but he couldn't pull them back. Besides, he could just as well say it now, before they made the mistake of adopting them. They'd find out eventually, and he'd rather not be adopted at all than be abandoned again.

"So do I," she replied calmly. "Oh, don't give me that look. I know that most people might be prejudiced about things like that, but I am not. You love who you love; their gender doesn't matter."

Severus' eyes widened a bit at that. Did she really not care? So she didn't hate him for it?

"Now," continued the witch then, oblivious to his surprise, "what about you go and take a bath now? My sister has drawn you one; this is her house, you see. Oh, and you can call me Molly -- or Mother, if you'd like that." And again she flashed him her warm, caring smile that seemed to be targeted only at him.

"Didn't you just say that I needed to rest?" asked Severus. He made no comment on the name matter.

"Well, you seem rather determined not to rest," Molly replied levelly. "So, you need to get yourself washed now. Then you'll wear some clean clothes, eat something, and drink a couple of nutritional potions -- you're awfully thin, my dear! -- and then you may see your friend and explain just what you did and why."

She had never seen anybody stand up as fast as Severus now did.

* * *

"So, how did it all happen?" asked Molly gently from the now clean and fed Severus. "Why are you assumed dead? They did find your bodies, I believe. And why'd you frame such a thing?" 

"It's my fault," the darkhaired boy replied immediately, never taking his eyes away from Remus' unmoving form. The poor boy's fever had gone down a bit, but he was still very sick, and seemingly not even near to regaining consciousness. "The other boys in the orphanage... they broke something very dear to me. They all hated me and Remus, you see, just because we were always together, they called us queers and freaks and whatnot." Sighing, the boy continued, "I was sure that nobody would ever want to adopt me if they actually met me, but I couldn't stay there any longer. So, I decided to run away -- and convinced Remus to come with me." Now, he gently reached out a hand to wipe a strand of hair from his friend's face.

Molly smiled a bit. She had suspected something ever since Severus had announced that he liked boys. Seemingly those boys in the orphanage hadn't been entirely wrong, even though the words they had used had been far from right. She then nodded, urging the boy to continue.

"Anyway. I created lifeless clones of us, and then we lit the fire, leaving the clones there -- that's why everybody thinks that we are dead. We did it so that they'd wipe our magical signatures from the registries and we could do magic without being detected; if we'd just run, they would have found us as soon as we first used magic, and surviving without it would have been near impossible. Then, shortly before the full moon, Remus fell ill. The wolf hurt himself, and once he had transformed back to a human, he wouldn't even wake up, he was so badly off. I carried him into the safest place I found and, well, then you found us."

"How exactly did you survive the full moon?" asked Melanie, startled. She of course knew that Remus was a werewolf, she had been told that much, as had the mediwitch who had come to treat the boys.

To this, Severus didn't say anything. Instead, he seemed to concentrate for a moment. Then, suddenly, a black cat sat on his place. Turning back into human, oblivious to their shocked expressions, he sighed, again taking Remus' hand in his own. "It is all my fault," he repeated. "If I hadn't convinced Remus to leave with me, he would now be adopted and happy with the Potters. He wouldn't be ill... it's all my fault."

Molly bit her lip, unable to find anything to say. Then she said, just to take the boy's thoughts away from such things, "Exactly what did they break? If you still have it with you, I might be able to repair it."

After a moment of hesitation the boy raised his hand to his neck. Drawing a leather pouch in a string from under his shirt, he took it away from around his neck and offered it to her. "I've never managed to get the repairing charm right," he said quietly. "So, I didn't dare to try; I was afraid I'd damage it further."

At this, Melanie raised her eyebrows, surprised. The repairing charm wasn't even taught before the third year. Molly, however, kept her smile calm as she opened the small pouch. It seemed to be full of tiny crystal fragments. Emptying it on a table, careful not to let anything fall to the floor, she then directed her wand at the fragments and said, "_Reparo_." Then she, like the others, watched as the fragments all came together to form a small statue, portraying a woman carrying her child.

"I got it from my mother," Severus said quietly, his eyes now fixed on the statue instead of his unconscious friend. "She left it to me when she took me to the orphanage. I was only three back then. It's the only proof I have that I've had a family once -- she wouldn't even tell my real name, afraid that my father would find me. I got the name Snape because I always snapped at everybody. But... that's more than Remus has."

Molly and Melanie glanced at each other. Then, they both smiled. "Well, Severus," Molly said, "you can now have a family again -- if you accept it, of course. It's only an Adoption Charm away."

Then, the two sisters watched him, both waiting to hear his answer. At last, he spoke.

* * *

A/N: I have a problem. The boys' names will obviously be changed when they get adopted (if not for any other reason, then because Severus Snape and Remus Lupin are officially dead). However, what should I name them? I'm pretty much set that Remus is going to be Eric Potter, but what shall be Severus' new first name? Any and all suggestions will be welcomed. 

**Next chapter:** Everything is now well. The Potters hear of Remus being alive, with predictable results in James' mood.


	6. The Family

Disclaimer: I own something.

A/N: Just to make it clear... I _do_ know the real ages for Bill and Charlie. I just prefer to think of them as older.

I had some hard time trying to pick the new name for Severus... Finally, going by the suggestion of a friend of mine, I settled on my original plan, combined with one of the review suggestions. Therefore, I now present to you... Morgan Darius Weasley.

...And anybody complaining will get one very angry red-haired teenager wizard after themselves.

* * *

Qualms and Connections 

Chapter 6:

The Family

* * *

James watched his parents hurrying around, a bit confused by their behaviour. Ever since the news of Remus' death had reached them, they had been on some kind of a slow motion mode. Of course James hadn't expected them to stay depressed about it forever, but he was indeed surprised at the sudden change. What exactly had triggered such an action in his usually so calm parents? 

Soon, however, he found himself unable to really care. This wondering fled his mind as soon as his own depression about his friend's unfortunate fate returned. Still considering Remus' death his own fault, James was convinced he couldn't ever be happy again.

Therefore he found it quite insulting when his mother suddenly appeared into his room, bright and cheerful as ever. "Why are you sulking in here?" Alanna asked him. "Do come and help us!"

Now, James just stared at her, shocked. "What's wrong with you? My friend's dead, and it's because of me, and you wouldn't even let me be upset!" he yelled, enraged as well as sad.

Alanna, however, looked surprised. "Do you mean we didn't remember to tell you?" As he looked confused, she exclaimed, "Oh, I'm so sorry, dear! I guess we were just too excited. You see, Molly Weasley sent us an owl. She had found Remus and Severus, Alive! The boys had framed their deaths!"

James' eyes flew wide. "Are you serious? Remus is alive?" he asked. "Are you still going to adopt him?"

"Why, of course," his mother replied. "That's why I asked for your help, too. We're now busy with setting up his room for him. He's ill right now, but as soon as he gets better we are going to go to get him."

"Yay!" exclaimed James, excited. "I'll help you with that! I know what he likes so his room will be just great. Just wait until I can tell Sirius and Peter!" He jumped up from his bed, on which he had been sitting, and hugged her tightly, very excited about the good news.

"Seemingly you don't mind not being an only child anymore," Alanna chuckled. "Now, do let go! We both have quite some work to do if we want your new brother to feel at home when he arrives."

So, together the mother and the son went to prepare a room for the future addition to their family. And, for the first time since the news about the fire in the orphanage, James smiled.

* * *

Remus opened his eyes slowly and carefully. It was bright, almost too much so at first. After his eyes had got used to the light, he saw that he was in a room he'd never seen before. The walls were a creamy colour, as well as the ceiling. The curtains were light blue, exactly the colour of the covers of the bed he was lying on. From the window he saw only the sky, so he figured he was upstairs -- but what house he was in, that he couldn't tell. 

There was an unfamiliar boy sitting beside his bed. The boy had red hair, a freckled face, and deep blue eyes watching him intently. As soon as Remus opened his eyes, the strange boy leant back in his chair.

"Good morning, Remus," he said, sounding happy, a broad smile on his face. "It's about the time you woke up. We were becoming a bit worried, you see."

"What -- where I am?" asked Remus, not understanding anything. "Who are you? And -- where's Severus?" Now, he was getting worried. Had Severus disappeared somewhere? He wanted his friend, and he wanted him now; he wanted Severus to be sitting next to his bed instead of this strange boy.

"You are in the Burrow," replied the other boy, a weird look of amusement on his face. "This is the Weasley family home. And as for me, well, I am Morgan Weasley." Then, with a slight, very familiar smirk, he added, "Or Severus Snape, if you prefer that name. I don't."

"What the... _Severus_?" Remus's head was spinning. This was getting really surreal now. What on Earth was happening here? Since when had Severus been a redhead, for one thing?

"Morgan," corrected his friend cheerfully. "Now, prepare yourself for Mol -- _Mother_'s chicken soup; she's been rather anxious about your well-being. You do want to be on your best when your new family comes to get at you, don't you?"

"My -- my family?" Remus stammered. He didn't understand anything now. What was his friend talking about? Or was this all just some fever hallucination?

"Yeah, the _Potters_," Severus/Morgan said, grimacing as he said the family name of his old nemesis. "They are still willing to adopt you. From what I've heard, even the boy is not that much against it anymore."

"Goodness... James." Remus would have groaned aloud, had he had the strength to do so. So, he just settled to a weak, "He'll probably hate me now..."

"Didn't I just say that he's no more against the thought of adoption?" replied the redhead, raising an eyebrow. "He knows it's you they were going to adopt. And yes, he knows that you are an orphan, and yes, he knows that you are friends with me. And he's still accepting the fact that you're soon going to be his little brother. In fact, from what I understand, he's actually quite enthusiastic about the whole thing."

Remus nodded slowly, digesting this information. "So, you have been adopted, then?" he asked then.

"Yes, I have," Morgan said in response. "Mother casted an Adoption Charm on me. She applied the appearance parts, as Severus Snape is supposed to be dead and it wouldn't do for Morgan Weasley to look like him. However, despite my advice to the opposite, she let my personality be."

"That's good," Remus said with a smile. "I like your personality just like it is."

"I'll remember that the next time you accuse me of being too nasty to someone," chuckled the other boy. "Anyway, can you wait for a while? You're not allowed to get up yet, and I want to tell the adults that you are awake. I won't stay away for long; I'll be back in just a minute -- most probably with Mother."

The werewolf just nodded at this, a bit surprised at just how natural his friend seemed to be talking about his mother. Considering that neither of them had had a mother ever since they were three, he wouldn't have expected Severus to adjust this well and especially not this quickly. Or how long had it been, exactly?

Therefore, he had a question in mind as Morgan soon returned with a very cheerful, red-haired woman and indeed a bowl of chicken soup. "How long was I out of it?" he asked, trying to eat the soup but to his great annoyance finding his hands shaking too much to keep the soup in the spoon.

"For about two weeks," Severus said levelly, taking both the bowl and the spoon from Remus and starting to feed him a bit at a time. "Mother found us shortly after the full moon. Ever since you have been unconscious. By now, the moon's waxing. We're hoping you'll be up and about before the next full moon."

Remus didn't bother to even nod, concentrating only on eating. Then, however, the woman started to talk.

"Hi, Remus," she said cheerfully. "I am Molly Weasley, Morgan's new mother and a friend of Alanna Potter. It's good to see you are awake at last. The Potters are getting rather impatient to have you; they've had your room ready for almost two weeks now from what I understand." This said, she grasped the soup bowl from the aforementioned boy. "And now, Morgan, you should get some sleep. You must be exhausted. He's stayed by your side most of the time," she added to Remus as an explanation as she began to feed the werewolf instead, oblivious to her adopted son's protests. "He's hardly even slept."

Remus watched as the -- grumbling and protesting, but still obedient -- Morgan exited the room, hopefully to indeed get some sleep. He did look rather tired. "Well, he and I have been the best friends about as long as I can remember," Remus said then. "Ever since we were three and he came to the orphanage where I was already. He just walked to stand next to me, and since then, he's stayed by my side."

"That's good to hear," Molly said, coaxing him to eat some more of her soup. Not that he needed much coaxing; he was starving, and the soup was delicious. "Tell me a bit about yourself, Remus," she then said, smiling warmly as ever. "Alanna wanted me to tell her something about you. They'll come to see you later."

"Well..." Remus hesitated, then started to speak, taking small pauses to eat. "I'm a werewolf... though that you probably know already. I was bitten when I was six... and the nurses at our orphanage of that time locked me out for the night. Only Severus -- er, Morgan saved me from being killed that night... and so I 'only' became a werewolf. I'm rather studious... and quiet, a bookworm, really, though I can... have fun at times, too. My friends at school... are James, Sirius, and Peter, but my best friend of all... is Severus. I really don't know what I'd do without him... We've always stuck together."

"I see." Now, with a bit of mischievous smile, Molly asked, "Say, Remus... Do you like boys or girls? Don't worry," she hastened to say as he looked shocked, "I'm not prejudiced, and neither are the Potters. They'll accept you any way you are. Most of the Wizarding World will, in fact -- true, homosexual couples aren't all that ordinary, but they are certainly more widely accepted than in the Muggle World."

Now, Remus flushed a bit. "I -- I like boys," he confessed. "Or rather... well, I like Severus... but he'd probably hate me for that," he then sighed. "We were bullied back at the orphanage because they thought we were a couple... That's what finally drove Severus to decide to run away."

Molly smiled gently at the boy. "Now, let's see that you eat the rest of your soup," she said. "And don't worry about Severus -- he didn't seem bothered when I told him that one of my uncles lives with a man. Maybe you should just wait for the right moment and tell him what you feel. You might be surprised."

Remus looked doubtful, but didn't say anything. Instead, he just obediently ate the rest of the soup as Molly fed him. At last, the bowl was empty, and the werewolf yawned, still exhausted.

"Now, you need some more rest," Molly said gently. "I'll firecall the Potters and ask them to come for a visit tomorrow; by then you should be well enough for meeting them. Once you're fully recovered, they'll take you to your new home. James especially is anxious to meet you, I've been told."

Remus just yawned again, then closed his eyes. He was asleep before Molly had even walked out of the room. Smiling gently at the sleeping boy, the red-haired witch left the room to check on her own eldest son. For all she knew him, he was most certainly not asleep like he should have been. Well, that would change.

* * *

James didn't remember the last time he'd been this excited. Today, they would go to see Remus! Sure, they wouldn't take his new brother home yet, as the werewolf was still rather weak and ill, but at least he could talk with his friend. When he'd owled Peter and Sirius, they had both been excited; they had also planned to be there when Remus was finally brought home. It would be a full Marauder reunion! 

When they arrived to the Weasleys, his parents started to talk to Molly and Arthur. Seeing his anxiety, however, Molly just smiled a bit, then told him which room Remus was staying in. Thanking her hurriedly, James then ran to meet his friend. Oh, how he had waited for this!

When James opened the door, he saw Remus. The werewolf was lying in bed, looking rather pale and thin, but also happy. By his side lay a red cat, almost exactly the hue of the Weasleys' hair, purring as the small boy petted his fur. As they heard him come in, both the boy and the cat raised their eyes at him. While Remus' eyes widened and he exclaimed, "James!", however, the cat just snorted and closed its eyes again.

"Hi, Remus", James said with a wide grin. "Or should I say little brother?"

"Hi, James," Remus said, a bit shy now that he was finally facing his friend future brother. "Look... I'm sorry for not telling you," he said uneasily. "I just didn't want you guys to hate me..."

"We're your friends!" exclaimed James, taking a seat on the chair next to the bed. "Why'd we hate you? Because you're an orphan? Hey, we didn't care that you're a werewolf, did we?"

"Well, my parents abandoned me," muttered the smaller boy, avoiding his companion's eyes. "I thought you might do that, too... And besides, you all hate Severus. But, really, he's my best friend. He's like my brother, has been ever since we were three. And I'm not giving him up."

"You don't have to," the bespectacled boy assured him. "Sure, we don't like Snape. However, you obviously do. Although I can't promise I'll like him, I do promise I'll at least try for your sake, and I'm sure Siri and Pete will promise the same thing. Like I said, we're friends -- and Marauders stick together."

Now, Remus' smile turned from wary to warm. "That's nice to hear," he said softly. "I was afraid how you'd react to Severus. He's promised to be on his best behaviour if you don't do anything."

"It's a deal, then." James grinned. Then he asked, "Is it true you won't come to Hogwarts this year?"

Now, Remus nodded. "Molly told us about it this morning," he said. "If we now appeared there, we might be connected to, well, ourselves. Everybody still remembers Remus Lupin and Severus Snape, and if they realized who we really are, it might bring some problems -- or at least unwanted attention. So, for a year we'll stay at home, getting used to our new families and stuff. Then we'll start Hogwarts with our new names, although we'll be one year behind you guys. That way nobody will suspect anything."

"Pity." James pouted a bit. "It's not gonna be as fun without you."

"Oh, don't say that," Remus laughed. "Rather I was the spoilsport, always saying, 'We shouldn't do this,' or, 'But it's forbidden!' Surely you're only happy to be rid of me for a while!"

"Don't _you_ say that," the darkhaired boy said, now suddenly serious. "When I thought you were dead... well, that was the worst I've ever felt in my life. And besides, I thought it was my fault! If it hadn't been for my protests, my parents would have tried harder to make you accept, and may you would've been out of the orphanage by that night! I really thought I'd caused the death of one of my friends!"

"They couldn't have made me change my mind, anyway," Remus told him with a tiny smile. "I wouldn't have left Severus there alone. Those bastards would have killed him."

At this, James' eyebrows flew high. "Just _what_ did you say?" he asked. "Did ickle wickle Remus say a bad word? Woah, I didn't even realize just how bad influence we've been on you!"

At that, Remus flushed a bit. "It's not your influence, it's Severus'," he explained. "He's never been too careful with his mouth." And then, he continued to talk, and James listened, and asked questions, and talked back. After a while he started to pet the cat's fur, at the same time eager to find out more about this side of his friend. He'd never known anything about Remus' childhood, but was determined to learn.

Suddenly, a sharp voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Do _I_ pet _your_ hair, Potter?" asked nastily the redheaded boy lying on the bed next to Remus -- the boy whose hair he had truly been petting. James pulled his hand quickly away, and glanced warily around. Where had the cat disappeared to? Where had the boy come from? Who was he? And how come James hadn't noticed anything?

"That was nasty," scolded Remus, shooting a sharp glance at the boy's direction.

"Well, he's been nasty to me for as long as we've known each other," replied the boy carelessly, shrugging as he sat up on the edge of the bed. "Don't worry, I'll behave. But I do believe he deserved at least one little scare." Then he directed his sharp blue eyes at James. "Morgan Weasley, in your service," he said mockingly. "Or, as you previously knew me, Severus Snape."

"Snape?" asked James, bewildered. Then he asked disbelievingly, "Are you an _Animagus_?"

"Why, yes, I am," the red-haired boy replied smugly. "And no, you can't get me into trouble for it; I've already been registered... well, three days ago, but that hardly matters, now does it? And before you can ask," he continued, "I wanted to learn it so that I could stay with Remus on full moons. A werewolf only attacks humans, you see; as a cat, I can safely stay with him."

"I never thought I'd say this to you, but... that's pretty damn impressive," James stated, half in genuine adoration, half in determination to respect his promise to Remus to try to get along with his former nemesis. "Do you think I could learn that, too? And Sirius and Peter?"

"Well, you probably could, if you're prepared to work hard and long," replied Morgan, raising an eyebrow. "And as for Black, why not? He's a rather accomplished student, much as it pains me to admit that. But as for Pettigrew... Well, I won't promise anything about him. Not likely, though, I'd say."

"You have to teach us!" James announced. "I want to be with my brother when he transforms!" He grasped Remus' hand, holding it possessively. The werewolf looked a bit startled as Morgan took his other hand. For a moment Remus actually feared he would become the object of a tug of war.

"Well, I want to be with my friend when he transforms," said Morgan coolly, seemingly just as possessive of the young werewolf. "My _best_ friend. Who's practically a _brother_ to me. Whom I've known ever since we were _three_. If _I_ had to learn on my own, why on Earth should I teach _you_?"

"Please, Morgan?" Remus pleaded, now coming back to the conversation. As both other boys turned to stare at him, he continued, "I just thought that if you studied Animagia together, you might learn to get along a bit better. And besides, if there were more Animagi around during the full moon, maybe I could retain more of my human mind." A tiny pout appeared on his face, and he used his best puppy eyes. "_Please?_"

With a bit desperate chuckle, Morgan shielded his eyes with an arm. "Begone, evil," he laughed. "Sure, I'll teach your dear big brother if you insist. However, do not expect us to get along beyond not fighting."

As Remus now looked at him, he was beaming with happiness. "I could never ask for more!"

* * *

**Next chapter:**

Your choice. The ending is very close, and it will be the day Morgan Weasley and Eric Potter enter Hogwarts, are introduced around as "James Potter's little brother and his (boy)friend", and are Sorted into their new House(s). Before that, however, I can, if you'd like, write something else -- like Remus/Eric arriving to his new home with the other Marauders there welcoming him, Morgan and Eric getting together (and don't say you didn't see that one coming!), some happy moments during their year out of Hogwarts, or something else -- I'm open for suggestions! (Read: "I like the idea of this universe, even if it is my own, and am not ready to let go of it just yet!") Of course, if you absolutely want to, I can write something like "Eric and Morgan teaching Ron and Harry -- Morgan's little brother and their adopted son after James died" but I think I have quite enough mpregs at the moment, and the temptation for that might become too great. I mean, come on, people! Morgan is a _Weasley_!


	7. The End

Disclaimer: I own very little.

A/N: I am terribly sorry for updating practically none of my HP fics in ages, but, well... I've kind of lost my HP inspiration. sigh I promise I'll try to post something HP at least every two weeks, and even try to get some of my other WIPs finished, but even that is "I'll _try_", not "I will". Try to bear with me; hopefully my HP muses will return sooner or later...

* * *

Qualms and Connections 

Chapter 7:

The End

* * *

Eric Potter hesitated a bit as he stood in front of a nice, white, two-storey house -- his new home. Feeling the expectant gazes of his new family and his best friend on his back, he took a couple of hesitant steps towards it. As it seemed he would never actually get there on his own, though, James finally got enough of the waiting, rushed forward, and grasped on his little brother's arm. "Come on, Eric!" 

Eric found himself dragged inside and towards his new room. He didn't protest much as James pushed him forward, being shoved into the room as soon as the door was open. He was, however, quite surprised to find two other young boys already there.

"Welcome home, Eric!" Sirius exclaimed, immediately bouncing forward to hug his friend. "You have no idea how much we've missed you!"

"Why didn't you just _tell_ us?" Peter asked. "You should have told us! We were so worried and --"

He stopped speaking, his eyes fixed on the doorway. Sirius fell silent too. As they turned around, the two Potter sons saw Morgan standing in the doorway. Even though his looks were definitely those of a Weasley now, the smirk on his lips was easy to recognize. There was no way Severus and Peter didn't know who he really was.

Whatever they had been expecting, however, Snape didn't even try to start a fight. Instead, he simply smiled a bit and said, "Welcome home, Eric."

Eric returned the smile.

* * *

James opened his eyes and was instantly awake. It was Christmas! 

It wasn't just any Christmas, either. This was the first time he had a little brother.

It had been quite hard to be away from his newly acquired brother/friend as he and the others had returned to school wile Morgan and Eric stayed home, recovering and getting used to their new lives. The two would start Hogwarts the following year, a year below James and the others, to make their false identities complete. But now it was Christmas holiday, and Sirius was there, and Eric was there, and everything was perfect!

...Well, Morgan was there, too. But he could somehow handle that. He hoped.

He thought about waking Sirius up, but before he could do anything, he was already staring into large grey eyes and a big girn. Although there were more than enough guestrooms, Sirius had insisted on sleeping in his room, just like Morgan was sleeping in Eric's. This way they could start mischief even earlier!

"It's Christmas!" Sirius shouted, echoing James' own thoughts. "Come on, let's go get the presents!"

James grinned back at his friend. "Let's go wake Eric up at first," he said. "And we can give Morgan a good scare, too!"

Sirius' grin turned slightly evil. Although they definitely got better along with Morgan than they had ever done with Snape, there was still a somewhat rival-like relationship between them -- mostly fighting for Eric's attention. Morgan gave as good as he got, though, so Eric didn't try to stop them -- he just shook his head and muttered something about "children".

Therefore the two boys soon found themselves sneaking towards Eric's room. It was only a little way down the corridor, and thus they were soon opening the door, trying to suppress their snickers.

However, as they looked into the room, they could do nothing but stare.

Eric was there, all right, in his own bed just like he should. However, Morgan was lying next to him. Under the covers. With an arm around him.

This could not be tolerated!

"Weasley!" James yelled, running towards the bed and grasping on the offending arm, intent on tearing Morgan out of the bed. Sirius ran by him, equally enraged. "Who the Hell gave you the permission to molest my little brother?"

Naturally, this noise woke up the two still slumbering boys. Morgan looked quite annoyed, while Eric was merely bewildered. The werewolf listened to James and Sirius' accusations for a while with a rather confused expression, then finally seemed to understand what was the matter. He shot up on the bed and wrapped his arms around Morgan's shoulders. To their definite shock James and Sirius realized that he wasn't wearing anything but pyjama bottoms. It wasn't enough that he was together in bed with Morgan, he was there half-naked!

"Leave Morgan alone!" Eric snapped, glaring at them accusingly. "It's none of your business if we happen to sleep in the same bed!" The redhead nodded as well, wrapping his own arm around Eric's waist. James and Sirius could only stare.

"You mean you actually don't mind it?" James asked slowly, having quite some difficulties with understanding this fact. "You mean you _want_ him to sleep in your bed?"

"Exactly." And, as if to prove his point, Eric then turned towards Morgan and kissed the other boy on the lips.

Once they had got over their initial shock James and Sirius ran out of the room, not wanting to witness anything else that might happen between the two boys. Instead, they woke James' parents -- who hadn't really been expecting to get to sleep past 6 AM anyway. However, when James' mother only said, "That's sweet, now let us sleep some more," and yawned, they had to face the horrifying fact that nobody would help them get Eric away from Morgan's clutches.

James had lost his little brother to once-had-been-Snape.

* * *

"You seem excited, Potter," Lily Evans commented as she watched James Potter fidgeting, seemingly unable to stay still -- although that was not unusual for him. "Has something happened?" 

"Not yet," the bespectacled boy replied with a broad grin, "but soon something will. My little brother is going to come to Hogwarts at last!" At this, Sirius and Peter both grinned as well.

"Your little brother?" echoed Lily. "I thought you were an only child. So he's a first year now?"

"Well, I _was_ an only child, until my parents adopted him," James laughed. "Eric's one year younger than us. He's been staying with a friend of his this week, but he should arrive soon, and I just can't wait!"

Just then, however, Sirius exclaimed, "Hey, isn't that them?" Looking towards the group he pointed at they saw a red-haired couple with four children around them. Two of the children were clearly below the Hogwarts age, but the other two, one darkhaired and the other a redhead, seemed to be about thirteen and had trunks with them. It was apparently the time for enthusiastic farewells.

"Oi, Eric! Morgan!" shouted James, waving his hand. "Come here, guys!"

The younger boys both looked their way as they heard their names called. The darkhaired one started to immediately hurry towards them, while the redhead seemingly still had to endure the last advice of his parents. By the time he managed to leave his family with the last waves at his younger siblings, the other boy had already reached the Marauders, a happy grin on his face as he met his brother.

"Hi!" he said to Lily, grinning at her. "I'm Eric Potter. Pleasant to meet you."

"Pleasant to meet you, too, Eric," Lily replied, a smile on her lips. "I am Lily Evans." While speaking, she let her gaze examine the boy. He was almost exactly a smaller version of James, except for the eyes, which were amber instead of the hazel of the older boy. Even the glasses were the same.

"Hi, guys," sighed the redhead as he finally reached his friend. "I'm Morgan Weasley, nice to meet you," he then added to Lily. "Merlin, I thought Mother was never going to stop! I know she means well and cares about me and stuff, but it does get to be a drag after a while. I mean, I'm thirteen, not three!"

Lily laughed at that. "If she's anything like my mother, she'll never stop," she told her, amused.

"She should put you under constant surveillance," James muttered, glaring halfheartedly at the red-haired boy. "And watch where you put that hand! I won't have you molesting my little brother in public!"

"James, his hand is on my _waist_," Eric said, sounding absolutely and completely bored with James' "care". "And try to get it into your head: he is _not_ molesting me. If anybody is doing that, it's me!" And, with this said, he placed a hand behind his slightly taller friend's head and drew him close for a kiss.

Lily blinked. Well, this she certainly hadn't expected! She was about to voice her disgust as she realized that although James did appear annoyed, he wasn't _really_ angry, and Sirius and Peter were actually grinning at the little display of affection. Did this mean that it was _normal_ for two wizards to love each other?

As shocking as the thought was, she was, little by little, forced to believe this.

* * *

Eric was, like could be easily noticed, asleep yet. He was rather unused to the Ravenclaw dormitories, and after two years in the Gryffindor Tower and one spent half in Godric's Hollow, half in the Burrow, he was having some difficulties with sleeping in strange surroundings. Therefore he lay awake, staring up into the darkness. 

Suddenly, the mattress shifted slightly as somebody else sat on it. "Can't you sleep, either?" he heard Morgan's quiet voice.

"Nope," Eric replied in a similar whisper. "I'm too used to the Gryffindor Tower."

"And I'm too used to the dungeons." There were some sounds of somebody moving, and then he felt a warm body joining his underneath the covers. "Move over a bit, will you? This way we can at least hope to get some rest."

Eric smiled slightly. "Indeed," he said, already feeling sleep forcing his eyes closed.

He perhaps wasn't used to the Ravenclaw dormitories, but he was used to having Morgan by his side.

* * *

As they stepped out of the Hogwarts Express, they immediately spotted Molly's bright red hair. "This way, boys!" she shouted. "Eric and James, you too!" They walked all nearer, Morgan a few steps before the two Potters. As they got closer, Molly smiled at them and said, "I'm here to pick you all up; something held your parents back, James and Eric. How did your year go?" 

"I was on top of my year in Potions and Arithmancy!" Morgan announced, grinning broadly.

"And I was on top on DADA and Transfigurations!" Eric continued with a grin just as proud.

"And they tied for top marks on all the other subjects," James finished with a little sigh. "Freaks."

"We are not!" the "younger" boys snapped in unison. "We're just smarter than you!"

Molly laughed at their argument. "Now, now, boys, calm down," she said. "I'm sure you all did well." She ruffled her son's hair, drawing a sound of mild annoyance from the boy in question, and smiled at the others. "I'm really proud of you, Morgan," she then said warmly at her son and drew him into a hug, uncaring about his rather loud protests.

"Really, Morgan, you are weird," James muttered. "You're all too happy to hug Eric every chance you get and then you won't even let your mother hug you!"

"Well," Eric said quickly, "there are several other things we do together he'd probably not like his mother doing..."

James tried in vain to tear his ears off in hopes of forgetting that comment.

* * *

James eyed the Ravenclaw Quidditch team warily. This match would decide the Quidditch Cup, and they were currently even at 30 points. Now, it was only a matter of time until one of the Seekers spotted the Snitch. 

Morgan glanced at him and smirked briefly. At times like these it was easy to see the old Snape under the Weasley cover. James grinned in response, then caught the Quaffle as it was tossed at him. He could perhaps do nothing to aid or hinder the Seekers, but he could certainly do his best to continue the game while they waited for the Snitch to show up.

Of course, it wouldn't be that easy. He hadn't got even halfway to the other end of the pitch as Morgan was already there, snatching the Quaffle as he tried to throw it at another Gryffindor Chaser. The redhead laughed, speeding towards the other end. He was still quite small for his age -- even his "official" age -- and thus he could easily fly faster than James.

"E. POTTER HAS SPOTTED THE SNITCH!" roared the commentator, and James groaned. Well, there went that victory. When Eric got his eye on the Snitch, nothing could stop him from catching it. It probably had something to do with his predatory instincts. Sure, he was proud of his brother, who was quite a Quidditch celebrity -- fortunately the teachers made sure that none of the Ravenclaw matches took place near a full moon. But now... This was his last chance at winning the Quidditch Cup! Eric couldn't win this one for the Ravenclaw!

"WEASLEY PASSES TO PATIL -- J. POTTER TRIES TO CATCH THE QUAFFLE, FAILS -- E. POTTER AND ABBEY ARE CHASING FOR THE SNITCH -- PATIL PASSES TO WEASLEY -- AND WEASLEY SCORES! 40-30, RAVENCLAW IN THE LEAD! J. POTTER GETS THE QUAFFLE, GOES FOR A GOAL -- BUT NO! E. POTTER GOT THE SNITCH! RAVENCLAW WINS AND TAKES THE QUIDDITCH CUP!"

Half of the audience started cheering -- Ravenclaws went of course absolutely crazy about their victory, and Slytherins would have cheered even for Hufflepuffs if it meant not cheering for Gryffindors. Eric neared the ground, the other Ravenclaw players flying towards him, laughing and cheering.

"You did it, Eric!" Morgan shouted, closing his friend in a crushing hug -- it was only thanks to Eric's strong werewolf physique that he didn't do any actual harm. "We won! We actually won!"

"How could you do this to your own brother, Eric?" James shouted over the noise, feigning hurt. "I thought you actually cared about me!" However, the only response he got was a cheeky grin and a tongue stuck out at him.

"We won fairly, so deal with it!" Morgan shouted. "Are you not enough of a man to admit your brother's better at Quidditch than you?"

"I'll admit that as soon as it's true!" However, even as James said this, he was secretly proud for his brother. Disappointed at their loss, yes -- but also proud. Eric had definitely come a long way from the nervous little thing he had been a few years ago.

He was so torn between these two feelings that he actually ignored the fact that Morgan hugged Eric for a little while longer than was absolutely necessary.

* * *

"His name is Harry," James said proudly, watching as Eric held gently the little baby boy. "Harry James Potter." 

"Exactly as self-centered as I'd expect from you," Morgan snorted, although he was smiling as well. Over the years they had come to something very close to a friendship, although they still teased each other on every opportunity they got. "And don't start explaining how it's a tradition and how you're called James Gary Potter or anything like that. When _you_ do it, it's because you're full of yourself."

"Oh, shut up," James sighed. "The only reason why you wouldn't do the same is that you wouldn't know whose name to pick!"

"Why, we'll of course have two," Eric replied simply, not even stopping to think. Morgan simply grinned in agreement and nodded.

"What do you mean, you will?" James echoed, bewildered. "Last time I checked two men couldn't get a kid, leave alone two, not even in the Wizarding World..."

Morgan grinned as he looked at James, placing a hand on his husband's shoulder, Eric smiling up at him. "My dear, simple Gryffindor," the redhead said, "we are of course going to adopt."

* * *

END

* * *

A/N: Thank you for actually reading this fic to the end. I hope you have enjoyed reading it.  



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